Education and Child Matters

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Running Away

 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF A CHILD RUNS AWAY?

A runaway child is someone under the age of 16 years who has left their home with the individuals who have parental responsibility for them (parents, guardian, carer) without their consent or permission. 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHAT IS LEGAL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR BETWEEN WHICH AGES IS AN INDIVIDUAL LEGALLY CONSIDERED A CHILD

WHAT ARE THE TWO TYPES OF RUNNING AWAY?

A child running away can be categorised it two ways:

  1. Episodic running away – This type of running away is where a child has run away because of a particular reason and it is out of character for them to do this. The child is not consistently running away and it is not a habit.
  2. Chronic running away – This is when a child has a habit of running away and can use this to manipulate their parents because the child is aware of the pain their running away causes the parents. In this case there will always be a power and hierarchy struggle between parents and the child. This child uses running away to deal with issues, not face up to problems, to get their own way and not answer for their behaviour. 

WHY WOULD A CHILD RUNAWAY?

Home is where a child should feel safe, be loved and nurtured. Each runaway child has a different story and a different set of circumstances that make them run away from their home. 

There are many reasons why a child might want to runaway from their home:

  1. The child has done something wrong and they are worried about their parents finding out and punishing them or being disappointed in them.
  2. They do not want to deal with something or face something.
  3. The home environment could be toxic with parents fighting and arguing 
  4. There may be a power struggle at home with their parents. The child may want more freedom but the parents are not giving it.
  5. It could be a reaction to rules set at home by the parents.
  6. They could be stressed with the pressure of education.
  7. They may not want to go to school. 
  8. They may feel like a failure and they cannot live up to their parents expectations. 
  9. They are constantly criticised at home and do not want to experience that anymore.
  10. They could be being bullied.
  11. They may be being abused at home.
  12. They may have started abusing alcohol and drugs and want to go where they are being offered these things or can take them freely.
  13. They could have been led astray and got involved in dangerous things.
  14. It may seem like an exciting thing to do.
  15. They may see it as their route for freedom.
  16. They may think that running away will solve their problems.

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE?

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR ACADEMIC AND EXAM STRESS 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE 3 – SAFEGUARDING YOUR CHILDREN

DO SOME CHILDREN HAVE A ROMANTIC VIEW OF RUNNING AWAY?

Yes they do. They get this from the movies, from social media and from others talking to your child and making ‘life on the streets’ away from home seem incredible and better. 

A child who is unhappy, neglected, or abused at home will definitely think and feel that running away is the only option they have. They will feel safer. Although running away may temporarily stop the abuse or unhappiness, a child will be vulnerable and prey to all kinds of dangers including further abuse from others. 

There are those children who have no real issues at home but find running away exciting and have the notion that there is a world waiting out there for them to conquer. 

WHAT ARE THE DANGERS FOR A CHILD WHO RUNS AWAY?

There are many dangers for a child when they run away:

  1. They could get into drinking, smoking and taking drugs.
  2. They can can addicted to drink and drugs 
  3. They can get into debt
  4. They are vulnerable to criminal exploitation
  5. They are vulnerable to sexual exploitation
  6. They are missing education
  7. They are exposed to bad weather, lack of food and shelter. 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD CRIMINAL EXPLOITATION AND CRIMINAL GANGS

IS IT A CRIME FOR A CHILD TO RUN AWAY?

No it is not. Your child will not be arrested and neither will you so inform the police immediately. 

WHAT ELSE CAN A CHILD WHO IS BEING ABUSED, NEGLECTED OR IS UNHAPPY AT HOME DO INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY?

A child who is being abused at home, is neglected or is unhappy must raise awareness of these issues to either their parents who are not hurting them or to someone outside of the home. 

Some reasons why a child may find it hard to raise awareness of their issues at home?:

  1. They may be scared, being threatened or frightened by the abuser to say anything. 
  2. They may feel they are bringing shame on the family if they tell.
  3. They may have been told that they are not allowed to share family secrets and the abuse may be a ‘secret’.
  4. They do not want to get their parents into trouble.
  5. They may have a false sense of loyalty to their parents.
  6. They may think what is happening to them is their fault.

Who can a child tell about abuse, neglect or unhappiness at home:

  1. Their teacher.
  2. Their neighbour.
  3. Their family members outside the home.
  4. The police.
  5. Childline
 

AS A PARENT YOU MUST TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT NOT RUNNING AWAY BUT INSTEAD TEACH THEM HOW TO RESOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS OR ISSUES

Some children may think that running away will solve their issues and it provides a solution to their problems whether temporary or permanent. However, what it really shows is that they do not know how to fix their issues, ask for help or alert others as to what is happening to them.  

1. As a parent you must talk to your child from a young age and inform them that they must tell if they are being abused, neglected or feeling unhappy even if they have been told not to by the person hurting them. Please inform your child of the following:

    • Your child can always approach you 24/7
    • You have time for them
    • You will always listen to them
    • You will believe them
    • You will not judge them
    • You will protect them
    • You will do something about their hurt and pain

2. Have a discussion with your child about the dangers of running away that are listed above on this webpage. This may make your child rethink before running away.

3. Ask your child about some problems they may have. Get them thinking what they can do to solve these problems. Over a period of time this will teach them to sort out their problems instead of  running away.

4. Talk to your child that if they run away they will still have to deal with their problems and issues when they come back. 

5. Ask your child how they are and if there is anything bothering them. Notice is they are extra quiet or down.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU DISCOVER YOUR CHILD HAS RUN AWAY?

You can do the following when you

1. You can contact the Police – You must immediately contact the police by dialling 999 and let them take charge of the whole situation. 

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE YOU REPORT A CHILD MISSING

2. NCIC – Ask the police to put your child’s name on the national crime information centre missing persons file.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE YOUR CHILD’S NAME IS PUT ON THE MISSING PERSONS FILE

3. Contact everyone you know – Call your child’s friends, their friends’ parents, the school and all your friends and family to see whether your child has gone there or they know of your child’s whereabouts.

WHERE CAN YOU AS A PARENT TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?

You can contact NSPCC – If your child has run away or feels like running away you can contact the NSPCC and speak to them about your concerns. If the child is in danger they will call the police. 

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR NSPCC – CONTACT US

You can contact FAMILY LIVES – Family lives was previously known as parentline.  You can speak to them about your concerns that your child has or feels like running away.  

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY LIVES – CONTACT US 

You can contact SUPPORTLINE – Supportline can provide confidential emotional support over the phone about children who run away. Their helpline number is 01708 765 200. You can also email them

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR SUPPORTLINE – CONTACT US 

You can contact your local authority child services – You can call them directly or look on their website to see if there are any local support groups where you can get support.

LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY

You can contact other organisations – 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE TO CONNECT WITH CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS THAT COULD HELP YOU.

You can read our help guide for where you can reach out to get help if your child is a victim – 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHERE CAN YOU REACH OUT TO GET HELP IF YOUR CHILD IS A VICTIM 

WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?

Your child can contact CHILDLINE – If your child has ever run away or feels like running away and they need to talk to someone, they can call childline.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR CHILDLINE – CONTACT US

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR CHILD RETURNS HOME?

When your child returns home after running away you will be like a pot full of lots of different emotions and feelings such as:

  1. Relieved your child is home and safe.
  2. Angry that they ran away and put your through the worry they did.
  3. Anguish why they ran away.
  4. Worry that they will do it again.
  5. Stress of what could have happened to them while they were away.

So what do you do:

Immediately – 

  1. The first thing you must do is hug them and hold them tight.
  2. Tell them welcome home.
  3. Tell them they are safe and you will look after them. 
  4. Be kind.

After a while – 

  1. Ask your child to talk to you and open up about what happened.
  2. Listen to them without interruption and judgement.
  3. Something has made them runaway so do something about what they are telling you. 
  4. Teach your child what to do next time they have an issue. Please read the sections above to teach your children how to resolve their problems and what a child can do instead of running away.