Education and Child Matters

I AM L.I.P

I am a Litigant In Person

Child Identity

 

In today’s social media and politically correct world where our children live, they value their identity highly and it forms a very big part of them. They are aware of it, they appreciate it, respect it and more often than not they want to tell the world about it, especially on social media platforms.

This webpage was written to show you as the parent what ‘child identity’ means and why it is very important for you to understand it so you can build and support your child’s self identity and safeguard it.

WHAT IS A CHILD’S IDENTITY

A child’s identity is a culmination of many representations they have about themselves.

In basic language, a child’s identity is describing who they are and how they perceive themselves and how others perceive them. 

A child’s identity is composed of two things, those things that cannot be changed and those that can.

Things about a child’s identity that cannot be changed:

  1. What culture they are from
  2. What their ethnicity or race is
  3. Their sexual orientation (cannot be changed but can be discovered over a period of time)
  4. Their gender (cannot be changed but can be discovered over a period of time)
  5. Their pronouns to describe themselves (cannot be changed but can be discovered over a period of time).
  6. Natural physical features (although now with plastic surgery these can be changed for some) 

Things about a child’s identity that can change (shift) as their environment changes, with education, achievements, with age, as they meet new people and explore the world.

  1. Their social identity and position
  2. Their nationality
  3. Their religion
  4. Their profession
  5. Their interests
  6. Their beliefs
  7. Their achievements
  8. Any disabilities
  9. A child’s abilities
  10. Likes and dislikes
  11. Their moral code 
  12. Their values
  13. Their physical attributes
  14. Their belief system

WHY IS A CHILD’S IDENTITY IMPORTANT?

A child’s identity is important because:

  1. It gives a child a sense of belonging. 
  2. It allows them to have a positive view of themselves
  3. It also allows them to understand themselves.
  4. It allows them to meet similar people.
  5. It creates their self-image
  6. It makes them unique
  7. It creates a sense of self
  8. It can build their self esteem.

HOW CAN A PARENT BUILD THEIR CHILD’S SELF-IDENTITY?

A parent can have a great impact on a child’s identity. It is important for a parent to help their child have a positive view about themselves and like who they are from a young age. If your child likes who they are they will radiate this to the world.

A child will react and be influenced by expressions of love, encouragement, and nurture as well as rejection and dismay from the adults around them. These will either strengthen or weaken their sense of self, their self worth, and belonging.

A child’s identity and belonging will develop positively and strongly when they have a loving, caring, respectful and strong relationship with the adults that surround them, especially their parents.

Acceptance and recognition of a child’s identity from parents and educators will go a long way to forming a happy, balanced and strong individual.  

So how can a parent do this:

  1. Do not put your child down in any way. 
  2. If your child does something wrong, tell them off for the act, do not make it personal.
  3. Do not make digs at your child.
  4. Build up their confidence
  5. Make them feel wanted and loved

Another thing a parent can do is try to encourage their child to spend less time on social media and the internet. The bombardment of images, videos, and lifestyles (most of which are fake) can make them feel disappointed (unnecessarily) with their identity. 

WHY CAN CHILDREN BE CONFUSED ABOUT THEIR IDENTITY?

1. They may hear negative things about the things in their identity that cannot be changed such as culture and ethnicity. This will make them feel inadequate and maybe they may have to work harder to achieve the same position as other races. 

Sometimes a child can feel discriminated against or asked awkward questions because of their culture and ethnicity which may make them uncomfortable. 

2. They are unsure and haven’t discovered their exact identity when it comes to gender, their pronouns and sexual orientation. This may be because they may be scared to admit who they are or may be confused about their real feelings. Admitting their real gender and sexual orientation may offend family so a child will assume another stereotypical gender and sexual orientation then later in life they will take on their real one. 

This can be very disturbing for a child because inside of them they know they belong to another gender yet on the surface they are pretending to be something else. This they live with day and night resulting in self loathing, unhappiness and imbalance in themselves.

3. Images and videos on social media can make a child become disappointed with their own identity. Many of these images have been photoshopped and adjusted to show an unreal identity. A child must not compare themselves to these unreal images and videos. 

4. A child must remember their social identity is fluid, it can change. However it is important to be in love with your own social identity instead of wanting to copy someone else’s on social media that is perceived to be better.