Education and Child Matters

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Bulimia

 

In this writeup we have not spoken about treatment. We leave that for your GP, the hospitals, the doctors and/or the NHS. 

We are simply explaining what bulimia nervosa is and how you can navigate it if your child ever suffers from it.

WHAT IS BULIMIA NERVOSA?

Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder and a serious mental health condition fuelled by the need to lose weight and keep it as low as possible. The individual concerned has the distorted belief they are fat despite the fact they are obviously not. 

An individual suffering from bulimia nervosa will eat a lot of food in a short amount of time (called binge eating) and then deliberately make themselves throw up, do excessive exercise and/or take laxatives to make them go to the toilet in order not to gain any weight (called purging).

WHAT COULD SOME OF THE SIGNS AN INDIVIDUAL IS SUFFERING FROM BULIMIA NERVOSA?

An individual suffering from bulimia may have a combination of many of the following signs:

  1. Dental issues due to the stomach acid in the vomit eroding their teeth.
  2. Sore throat
  3. Bad breath
  4. They may be feeling tired and weak
  5. Muscle spasms
  6. Constipation
  7. They will have a low body mass index (BMI) for their age and height
  8. Their periods may have stopped or may not have even start (women and girls)
  9. They may suffer from dry skin
  10. They may have brittle fingernails.
  11. They could feel faint and dizzy very often
  12. They are painfully thin and underweight

WHAT ARE THE LONG TERM IMPLICATIONS OF BULIMIA NERVOSA?

Some of the long term effects could be:

  1. Malnutrition
  2. Developmental issues
  3. Fertility issues
  4. Loss of libido
  5. Kidney problems
  6. Bowel problems
  7. Oedema
  8. Osteoporosis
  9. Heart failure
  10. Poor blood circulation
  11. Seizures
  12. Poor memory
  13. Anaemia
  14. Poor immune system

HOW CAN YOU TRY AND PREVENT YOUR CHILD GETTING BULIMIA NERVOSA?

Here are some things you as a parent can try and do:

Try not to constantly be negative about calories, portion sizes, food and weight – Be aware of your own speech patterns and behaviour towards food, portion sizes, calories and weight. You children will not do as you say they will do as you do. They pick up on everything you say and do. If you are constantly complaining about calories and what you should and shouldn’t eat, complaining about your size and weight, and putting yourself down with regards to your looks, your child will eventually do the same because that is all they know.

  1. Make food fun. 
  2. Make family meals fun. 
  3. Make positive comments about food. 
  4. Try not to mention calories again and again. 
  5. Be positive about your own looks and weight.
  6. When watching TV or films try not to make derogatory comments about people and their weight. 

Promote good body image in your household – Continuing from above, bring your child up to think all body shapes, sizes and forms are beautiful, normal and perfect. Compliment individuals on their achievements, their attributes and their personalities in front of your children. Show your child that there is more to life than body image and size and the goal is to be happy with your own body image and size.  

Build up your child’s self-esteem – Your child is beautiful. Your child deserves to be happy. Their beauty and their happiness does not depend on the colour of their hair, skin, their body size or their successes and failures. 

From a young age, compliment your child on all aspects of their life, from their little achievements at school to completing chores around the house to good behaviour. This will make them feel good about themselves and worthy.

Tell your child they are wonderful, their presence in your life makes you happy and they are a lovely person. 

Whenever they go out and dress up, tell them they are beautiful. Do not ever compare your child to anyone. Just make them feel good about themselves.

Be careful about social media images – Social media is full of beautiful images that portray a lifestyle totally unreachable and away from the reality of most people’s lives. Your children are bombarded by this all day everyday. The sad thing is that most of these images have been altered and edited to give a certain look. The lifestyle that is shown with the image is a snapshot of a moment. It is not reality. This can be very damaging for your child’s moral and self worth. They will compare their looks and lifestyle to the one on social media and get upset, start hating their own life and start to try and achieve what they have seen on social media. The only issue is the images and lifestyles are unattainable because they are not real.

You cannot remove social media from your child’s life but you can try and reduce the time they spend on it and make them aware that many of the images are not real and many of the lifestyles portrayed are fake. 

Be observant and pick up on the signs if you can – It is very easy to get caught up with day to day things. But notice if your child has started to make negative comments about their looks and weight, they are not finishing their food, they are criticising the type of food you are serving, you are finding their lunch in the bin or hidden, and they are trying to lose weight when there is no need. 

Look out for the binge eating and then the need to purge straight after. Notice whether your child gets upset, stressed or anxious if they don’t get a chance to purge.

Your child may not be approachable but at least you have been alerted to a possible issue. Speak to your GP or the school to get help.

Try and build a positive trusting relationship with your child – If you are close to your child they will be able to come to you and talk to you, share their fears or when they feel scared or threatened. They will do this if you are approachable, you do not react and do not take what they say personally. When your child comes and talks to you it is about them, how they feel and what is happening to them. It is not about your parenting. It isn’t an opportunity to blame yourself. Your child will approach you if you:

  1. Listen to your child intently without interruption.
  2. Do not judge them
  3. Do not take what they say personally 
  4. Understand their reasons
  5. Do not react in a negative manner
  6. Try and find a positive outcome for your child.
  7. Support them through the whole episode.

Build a safe and happy home environment and try to spend quality time with them – If your child receives love, happiness and peace at home they will not look for it elsewhere. There is nothing like quality family time. If they feel safe and happy at home they will most unlikely not go searching on social media to find fulfilment or try to change themselves to feel better. If you give quality time to your children where you are present and not preoccupied, they will feel wanted, secure, and good about themselves. The probability of your child becoming bulimic or harming themselves in any way will be very much reduced.

Have regular chats with your child – Listening to your child is a very important part of being a parent. It is your job to encourage your children to talk to you and express themselves.  By doing this you will pick up on the early signs of what your child is feeling.

  1. Make time for your child when they want to speak. Stop what you are doing and show them you have time for them.
  2. Encourage your child to speak to you and convey how they feel and open up to you.
  3. Listen intently and show them what they have to say is important.
  4. Hold their hand if they are acceptable to it. 
  5. Tell them they have done the right thing by talking to you.
  6. Do not interrupt them as they speak. 
  7. Try not to ask many questions as they speak. Let them get it all out. 
  8. Try not to react if they tell you something you do not want to hear. Stay calm.
  9. If your child sees you distressed they will close up. Remember you are there for them and not the other way round.

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD?

You can learn as much as you can about bulimia nervosa – This will allow you to understand your child, how they are thinking, why they are behaving the way they are and  what you are dealing with. Your approach will become managed and your reactions fair.

Do not take anything personally – Whatever your child says or does please do not take it personally. They do not mean it. Bulimia nervosa is also a mental disorder so you must take that into account.

Shower as much love as you can on your child as you can – Show your child love, hug them if they let you, cuddle them if they let you and of course constantly tell them.

Try and stay positive – At this stage you will need to be positive for both you and your child. They may have lost hope or have none at all. It is your hope and positivity which will get both of you through the whole episode. 

Do not be afraid of getting professional help – The professionals will help you and your child, they know what they are doing and they will give you all the support you need.

Look after yourself – Your child needs you to look after them, be there for them and care for them. How are you going  to do that if you do not look after yourself?

WHO CAN YOU CONTACT IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR CHILD IS SUFFERING FROM BULIMIA NERVOSA?

You can contact your GP – If you suspect that your child is showing any of the symptoms above or are underweight and constantly saying they are ‘fat’ please make an appointment with your GP and explain your concerns. Your GP will guide and refer you and your child to the right places.

You can talk to your child’s teacher or year head at school and ask for help – It is very important to speak to the school about any concerns you have about your child’s health. The school has a pastoral department that will work with you to help your child.  

You can contact BEAT – Beat is a website designed specifically for individuals with eating disorders. Beat has 2 helpline telephone numbers you can call to talk to someone. 

Adult helpline – 0808 801 0677

Youth helpline – 0808 801 0711

LINK TO THE WEBSITE FOR EATING DISORDER CHARITY BEAT

You can contact the NSPCC – You can contact the NSPCC and speak to them about your concerns that your child may be suffering from bulimia nervosa. 

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR NSPCC – CONTACT US

You can contact FAMILY LIVES – Family lives was previously known as parentline. You can speak to them about your concerns that your child may be suffering from bulimia nervosa. 

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY LIVES – CONTACT US 

You can contact YOUNG MINDS – You can visit the young minds website and read their help guide and follow their guidance.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR YOUNG MINDS – EATING PROBLEMS

You can contact TALK-ED – You can contact talk-ed and speak to them about your concerns about bulimia nervosa.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR TALK-ED 

You can contact your local authority child services – You can call them directly or look on their website to see if there are any local support groups where you can get support.

LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY

You can contact other organisations – 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE TO CONNECT WITH CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS THAT COULD HELP YOU.

WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?

Your child can contact CHILDLINE – If your child needs to talk to someone, they can call childline.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR CHILDLINE – CONTACT US

Your child can contact BEAT – Beat is a website designed specifically for individuals with eating disorders. Beat has 2 helpline telephone numbers you can call to talk to someone. 

Adult helpline – 0808 801 0677

Youth helpline – 0808 801 0711

LINK TO THE WEBSITE FOR EATING DISORDER CHARITY BEAT

Your child can contact YOUNG MINDS – They can visit the young minds website and read their help guide and follow their guidance.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR YOUNG MINDS – EATING PROBLEMS

Your child can contact TALK-ED – Your child can contact talk-ed and speak to them about their concerns about bulimia nervosa.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR TALK-ED 

Your child can contact THE MIX – Your child can contact the mix and speak to them about their concerns about bulimia nervosa.

LINK TO WEBSITE FOR THE MIX