Online Child Abuse & Online Child Grooming
This webpage deals specifically with online child abuse and online child grooming.
There are write ups about child sexual grooming, child abuse, online pornography, stalking, online stalking and online bullying elsewhere on this website. Please click the link below to access the webpage.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD SEXUAL GROOMING (IN PERSON)
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD ABUSE
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR ONLINE PORNOGRAPHY
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR STALKING
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR ONLINE STALKING AND ONLINE BULLYING
WHAT IS ONLINE CHILD ABUSE?
Online child abuse is any type of child abuse that occurs online/on the internet. The following are types of child online abuse:
- Cyber bullying
- Child grooming
- Emotional abuse
- Emotional blackmail.
- Sexual abuse
- Cyber crime
- Cyber sex trafficking
- Harassment and threats
- Hate speech
- Sexual exploitation
Online child abuse is virtual, often anonymous and happens from a distance.
Online child abuse is also known as cyber molestation.
It can happen on your child’s mobile phone, laptop, desk top, tablet and games console.
WHAT IS ONLINE CHILD GROOMING?
This is the process when an individual can pretend to be someone else, develops a relationship with the child and then tricks, lies, pressures, manipulates, coerces, blackmails or forces them to participate in sexual activity.
The sexual activity can involve the following:
- Meeting with them outside
- Sending sexual images
- Sending sexual videos
- Communicating in a sexual manner
Online child grooming is a form of child sexual exploitation and online child abuse.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION.
WHY ARE BOTH SO DANGEROUS?
Any form of online child abuse including online child grooming is very dangerous because it is difficult to ascertain who is doing it and a parent can be oblivious that it is happening to their child.
The child is vulnerable and exploitable.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD COULD BE BEING ABUSED AND GROOMED ONLINE?
It is very difficult to know if your child is being abused and groomed online. However, there could be some signs that could alert you:
- Your child is becoming anxious
- They are withdrawn
- Their behaviour is sexualised
- Their language is sexualised
- Acquiring money and things that they cannot afford.
- Your child may start to bully others
- They are not concentrating at school
- They are spending lots of time on social media and in chat rooms.
- Your child is angry and upset after going online or when you ask them to come off from being online.
- Your child is secretive about who they are talking to and their online habits.
HOW CAN ONLINE ABUSE AND GROOMING AFFECT YOUR CHILD?
For today’s parents, it is very difficult to understand the impact and the dangers of technology in our child’s lives. The main reason is because most parents have not grown up with the internet as such a big part of their lives. Below is a list of things your child could experience if they have been abused or groomed online.
- Stress
- Self harm
- Suicidal thoughts
- Low self esteem.
- Feeling of shame
- Guilt
- Depression
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- They may find solace in alcohol and drugs.
WHAT CAN A PARENT DO TO SAFEGUARD THEIR CHILD FROM ONLINE ABUSE AND GROOMING?
As a parent, you can make a huge difference with some simple actions. They are listed below:
Parental controls and internet filters – Parental controls and internet filters are software. Parental control software can allow a parent to control the time their child spends on a device and what apps and images they can download. An internet filtering software will not allow a child access to certain websites and content.
Computers in a public room – Children should be working on a computer in an open area in your house where you can see what they are doing.
Monitor and check their social media accounts regularly – It is advisable to have the passwords to your children’s social media accounts and check what their friends are saying and what images they are looking at and being sent.
Monitor and check their phone regularly – You cannot control what images and websites your child will look at on their phone while away from home. It is advisable to check their phones from time to time, especially the history.
Take their phones at night to recharge – Make it a rule in your home that all children hand over their phones before bed. This will make sure they are not on their phones while they should be sleeping.
Talk to your children about online abuse and grooming – It is advisable to talk to your children about online abuse and online grooming. Explain what they are and how they can affect them. Talk to your children from an early age that they must inform you if they experience any form of online stalking or grooming. Keep conversations simple, don’t make a big deal of it and don’t scare your children.
Show your child you support them – Be vigilant about how you can support them.
- If your child is distressed about online abuse or online grooming, inform the school, the police or your local authority child services.
- Spend time with your children and comfort them.
- Go over scenarios where your child knows what to do if they experience online abuse or online grooming. They must inform you immediately.
Try to be observant and pick up on the signs – We have listed a few signs above how online abuse and online grooming can affect your child. Please look out for these signs.
Try and build a positive trusting relationship with your child – Your child should be able to come to you and talk to you, share their fears or when they feel scared or threatened. They will do this if you are approachable, you do not react and do not take what they say personally. When your child comes and talks to you it is about them, how they feel and what is happening to them. It is not about your parenting. It isn’t an opportunity to blame yourself. Your child will approach you if you:
- Listen intently without interruption.
- Do not judge them
- Do not take what they say personally
- Understand their reasons
- Do not react in a negative manner
- Try and find a positive outcome for your child.
- Support them through the whole episode.
Build a safe and happy home environment – If your child receives love, happiness and peace at home they will not look for it elsewhere. If they feel safe at home they will most unlikely not go searching on social media to find fulfilment, try to change themselves to feel better, and fall into the hands of predators who will hurt them.
Communicate with your child – Listening to your child is a very important part of being a parent. It is your job to encourage your children to talk to you and express themselves.
- Make time for your child when they want to speak. Stop what you are doing and show them you have time for them.
- Encourage your child to speak to you and convey how they feel and open up to you.
- Listen intently and show them what they have to say is important.
- Hold their hand if they are acceptable to it.
- Tell them they have done the right thing by talking to you.
- Do not interrupt them as they speak.
- Try not to ask many questions as they speak. Let them get it all out.
- Try not to react if they tell you something you do not want to hear. Stay calm.
- If your child sees you distressed they will close up. Remember you are there for them and not the other way round.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR CHILD INFORMS YOU THEY ARE BEING ABUSED OR GROOMED ONLINE?
It can be very shocking to learn that your child is being stalked or bullied online. It may leave you feeling upset, hurt, and distressed. Your world has suddenly turned upside down. You will have thousands of thoughts and questions racing around in your head. Be easy on yourself, don’t blame yourself and start thinking you could have been a better parent and start preparing yourself mentally to handle the situation with kindness, care and dignity. Follow the steps below.
Go hug your child and show them some love – Please remember prior to informing you that they are being abused or groomed online, your child will have spent time terrified with the thought that they would have to face you. They will be traumatised themselves. Therefore, before dealing with your own reaction please give them a hug and reassure them that together you will get through this and that you are with them.
Your reaction can either calm your child down and keep the situation in hand. Your support will carry them through all the emotions, any health concerns and other issues they will face.
Let your child speak if they want to – Listen quietly and carefully to your child.
- Hold their hand if they are acceptable to it.
- Tell them they have done the right thing by informing you.
- Do not interrupt them as they speak.
- At this stage do not ask many questions. Let them get it all out.
- Try not to react. Stay calm.
- If your child sees you distressed they will close up
Inform your child they are not at fault – Your child needs to hear you believe that they are not at fault for what has happened. This will go a long way in them feeling that they must not punish themselves for what has happened.
Inform your child you believe them and are taking what they have said seriously – It is important that your child hears the words that you believe what they are saying. This will give them confidence to open up more. The word that you are going to take what they say seriously conveys that you are going to protect them and do something to stop what is happening to them.
Inform your child what you are going to do to keep them safe – Tell your child they are now safe and nobody is going to hurt them. You will take care of them and report the perpetrator(s) on what has happened to the police or put internet filters in place.
WHO CAN YOU REPORT ONLINE CHILD ABUSE AND ONLINE CHILD GROOMING TO?
There are many ways you can report online child abuse and online child grooming:
You can contact the Police – You can dial 999 if a child is at immediate risk or a crime has been committed. Alternatively if there is no emergency you can dial 101 or file a report online.
LINK TO POLICE WEBSITE TO REPORT A CRIME ONLINE
You can contact Crimestoppers – You can report a crime anonymously to crimestoppers. Their telephone number is 0800 555 111.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR CRIMESTOPPERS.
WHERE CAN YOU AS A PARENT TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
You can contact NSPCC – If your child has suffered from online abuse and grooming you can contact the NSPCC and speak to them about your concerns. If the child is in danger they will call the police.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR NSPCC – CONTACT US
You can contact FAMILY LIVES – Family lives was previously known as parentline. You can speak to them about your concerns that your child has suffered from online abuse and grooming.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY LIVES – CONTACT US
You can contact SAMARITANS – The samaritans are a free organisation that you can talk to about online abuse. Call their helpline on 116 123. They are available 24 hours a day. You can email them, chat online or write them a letter.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR SAMARITANS – CONTACT US
You can contact SUPPORTLINE – Supportline can provide confidential emotional support over the phone about online abuse. Their helpline number is 01708 765 200. You can also email them.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR SUPPORTLINE – CONTACT US
You can contact your local authority child services – You can call them directly or look on their website to see if there are any local support groups where you can get support.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY
You can contact VICTIM SUPPORT – Victim support is a charity that can help individuals who have been the victim of a crime. They have a free confidential support telephone line and live chat. They are independent of the police.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR VICTIM SUPPORT – CONTACT US
You can contact other organisations –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE TO CONNECT WITH CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS THAT COULD HELP YOU.
You can read our help guide for where you can reach out to get help if your child is a victim –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHERE CAN YOU REACH OUT TO GET HELP IF YOUR CHILD IS A VICTIM
WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
Your child can contact CHILDLINE – If your child has suffered from online abuse and grooming and they need to talk to someone, they can call childline.