Online Stalking & Online Bullying
This webpage is about online stalking and bullying.
There are write ups about other forms of stalking and bullying elsewhere on this website. Please click the link below to access the webpage.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR STALKING
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR BULLYING AND HARASSMENT IS SCHOOLS
This webpage specifically deals with online stalking and online bullying.
WHAT IS ONLINE STALKING?
Online stalking is when an individual is harassed with the use of the internet and electronic devices.
Online stalking can leave a person feeling bullied, blackmailed, scared, frightened, and threatened.
Another name for online stalking is cyber stalking.
WHAT IS ONLINE BULLYING?
Online bullying encompasses the following:
- Sending rude and hateful messages online
- Making rude and hateful comments on social media posts
- Sending threatening messages online.
- Embarrassing a person online in front of other users.
- Pretending to be another person to misrepresent them online
- Sharing and posting indecent and shameful images and videos online in order to embarrass someone.
- Making a hate website targeting someone.
- Deliberately removing or excluding a person from an online group to cause them to feel isolated, not wanted, alone and unliked.
Online bullying can happen to anyone anywhere and anytime. At times it can be relentless and overwhelming.
Often the perpetrators are anonymous and cannot be traced.
Another name of online bullying is cyber bullying.
WHAT IS ONLINE MASQUERADING?
Online masquerading happens when an individual makes up an online identity to protect their real identity while they stalk and bully someone online.
WHAT IS ONLINE TROLLING?
Online trolling happens when an individual sends constant unwanted messages and social media comments to someone online.
The messages and comments can be rude, abusive, sexual in nature and upsetting.
The individual doing this is called a troll and they are often not known to the person they are sending messages and comments to.
WHAT IS ONLINE FLAMING?
Online flaming happens when an individual deliberately starts an online argument or fight by sending inflammatory and harsh messages and comments that are designed to fuel a fight. Online flaming often happens on social media in a public domain.
The individual who is flaming is known to the person they are trying to start a fight with.
WHAT IS ONLINE DOXING?
Online doxing happens when an individual posts and reveals private information including images of another person with the intent to cause harm or shame.
Another name for online doxing is online outing.
WHAT IS ONLINE CREEPING?
Online creeping happens when an individual follows everything another person does online.
The person whose posts, social media and online life is being followed is often unaware this is happening.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD COULD BE BEING STALKED OR BULLIED ONLINE?
It is very difficult to know if your child is being stalked or bullied online. However, there could be some signs that could alert you:
- Your child is becoming anxious
- They are withdrawn
- Your child may start to bully others
- They are not concentrating at school
- They are spending lots of time on social media and chat rooms.
- Your child is angry and upset after going online or when you ask them to come off from being online.
- Your child is secretive about who they are talking to and their online habits.
HOW CAN ONLINE STALKING AND BULLYING AFFECT YOUR CHILD?
For today’s parents, it is very difficult to understand the impact and the dangers of technology in our child’s lives. The main reason is because most parents have not grown up with the internet as such a big part of their lives. Below is a list of things your child could experience if they have been stalked or bullied online.
- Stress
- Self harm
- Suicidal thoughts
- Low self esteem.
- Feeling of shame
- Guilt
- Depression
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- They may find solace in alcohol
WHAT CAN A PARENT DO TO SAFEGUARD THEIR CHILD FROM ONLINE STALKING AND ONLINE BULLYING?
In today’s world, it is practically impossible to prevent your child from being stalked and bullied online. However, you can make a huge difference with some simple actions. They are listed below:
Parental controls and internet filters – Parental controls and internet filters are software. Parental control software can allow a parent to control the time their child spends on a device and what apps and images they can download. An internet filtering software will not allow a child access to certain websites and content.
Computers in a public room – Children should be working on a computer in an open area in your house where you can see what they are doing.
Monitor and check their social media accounts regularly – It is advisable to have the passwords to your children’s social media accounts and check what their friends are saying and what images they are looking at and being sent.
Monitor and check their phone regularly – You cannot control what images and websites your child will look at on their phone while away from home. It is advisable to check their phones from time to time, especially the history.
Take their phones at night to recharge – Make it a rule in your home that all children hand over their phones before bed. This will make sure they are not on their phones while they should be sleeping.
Talk to your children about online stalking and bullying – It is advisable to talk to your children about online stalking and online bullying. Explain what they are and how they can affect them. Talk to your children from an early age that they must inform you if they experience any form of online stalking or bullying. Keep conversations simple, don’t make a big deal of it and don’t scare your children.
Show your child you support them – Be vigilant about how you can support them.
- If your child is distressed about online stalking or online bullying, inform the school, the police or your local authority child services.
- Spend time with your children and comfort them.
- Go over scenarios where your child knows what to do if they experience online stalking or online bullying. They must inform you immediately.
Try to be observant and pick up on the signs – We have listed a few signs above how online stalking and online bullying can affect your child. Please look out for these signs.
Try and build a positive trusting relationship with your child – Your child should be able to come to you and talk to you, share their fears or when they feel scared or threatened. They will do this if you are approachable, you do not react and do not take what they say personally. When your child comes and talks to you it is about them, how they feel and what is happening to them. It is not about your parenting. It isn’t an opportunity to blame yourself. Your child will approach you if you:
- Listen intently without interruption.
- Do not judge them
- Do not take what they say personally
- Understand their reasons
- Do not react in a negative manner
- Try and find a positive outcome for your child.
- Support them through the whole episode.
Build a safe and happy home environment – If your child receives love, happiness and peace at home they will not look for it elsewhere. If they feel safe at home they will most unlikely not go searching on social media to find fulfilment, try to change themselves to feel better, and fall into the hands of predators who will hurt them.
Have regular chats with your child – Listening to your child is a very important part of being a parent. It is your job to encourage your children to talk to you and express themselves.
- Make time for your child when they want to speak. Stop what you are doing and show them you have time for them.
- Encourage your child to speak to you and convey how they feel and open up to you.
- Listen intently and show them what they have to say is important.
- Hold their hand if they are acceptable to it.
- Tell them they have done the right thing by talking to you.
- Do not interrupt them as they speak.
- Try not to ask many questions as they speak. Let them get it all out.
- Try not to react if they tell you something you do not want to hear. Stay calm.
- If your child sees you distressed they will close up. Remember you are there for them and not the other way round.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR CHILD INFORMS YOU THEY ARE BEING STALKED OR BULLIED ONLINE?
It can be very shocking to learn that your child is being stalked or bullied online.. It may leave you feeling upset, hurt, and distressed. Your world has suddenly turned upside down. You will have thousands of thoughts and questions racing around in your head. Be easy on yourself, don’t blame yourself and start thinking you could have been a better parent and start preparing yourself mentally to handle the situation with kindness, care and dignity. Follow the steps below.
Go hug your child and show them some love – Please remember prior to informing you that they are being stalked or bullied online, your child will have spent time terrified with the thought that they would have to face you. They will be traumatised themselves. Therefore, before dealing with your own reaction please give them a hug and reassure them that together you will get through this and that you are with them.
Your reaction can either calm your child down and keep the situation in hand. Your support will carry them through all the emotions, any health concerns and other issues they will face.
Let your child speak if they want to – Listen quietly and carefully to your child.
- Hold their hand if they are acceptable to it.
- Tell them they have done the right thing by informing you.
- Do not interrupt them as they speak.
- At this stage do not ask many questions. Let them get it all out.
- Try not to react. Stay calm.
- If your child sees you distressed they will close up.
Inform your child they are not at fault – Your child needs to hear you believe that they are not at fault for what has happened. This will go a long way in them feeling that they must not punish themselves for what has happened.
Inform your child you believe them and are taking what they have said seriously – It is important that your child hears the words that you believe what they are saying. This will give them confidence to open up more. The word that you are going to take what they say seriously conveys that you are going to protect them and do something to stop what is happening to them.
Inform your child what you are going to do to keep them safe – Tell your child they are now safe and nobody is going to hurt them. You will take care of them and report the perpetrator(s) on what has happened to the police or put internet filters in place.
WHO CAN YOU REPORT ONLINE CHILD STALKING AND ONLINE CHILD BULLYING TO?
There are many ways you can report online child stalking and online child bullying:
You can contact the Police – You can dial 999 if a child is at immediate risk or a crime has been committed. Alternatively if there is no emergency you can dial 101 or file a report online.
LINK TO POLICE WEBSITE TO REPORT A CRIME ONLINE
You can contact Crimestoppers – You can report a crime anonymously to crimestoppers. Their telephone number is 0800 555 111.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR CRIMESTOPPERS.
WHERE CAN YOU AS A PARENT TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
You can contact NSPCC – If your child is being stalked or bullied online you can contact the NSPCC and speak to them about your concerns. If the child is in danger they will call the police.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR NSPCC – CONTACT US
You can contact FAMILY LIVES – Family lives was previously known as parentline. You can speak to them about your concerns that your child is being stalked or bullied online.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY LIVES – CONTACT US
You can contact SAMARITANS – The samaritans are a free organisation that you can talk to about online stalking and bullying. Call their helpline on 116 123. They are available 24 hours a day. You can email them, chat online or write them a letter.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR SAMARITANS – CONTACT US
You can contact SUPPORTLINE – Supportline can provide confidential emotional support over the phone about online stalking and bullying. Their helpline number is 01708 765 200. You can also email them.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR SUPPORTLINE – CONTACT US
You can contact your local authority child services – You can call them directly or look on their website to see if there are any local support groups where you can get support.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY
You can contact other organisations –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE TO CONNECT WITH CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS THAT COULD HELP YOU.
You can read our help guide for where you can get help if your child is a victim –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHERE CAN YOU REACH OUT TO GET HELP IF YOUR CHILD IS A VICTIM
WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
Your child can contact CHILDLINE –
A child can call ‘childline’ and talk about their concerns and how they feel.