Teenage Pregnancy
Please note there is another write up on this website about pregnancy and education. Please click the link below.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR PREGNANCY IN SCHOOLS.
WHAT IS TEENAGE PREGNANCY?
Teenage pregnancy is the term used to describe an individual between the ages of 10 years and 19 years becoming pregnant.
The term is often referred to females and when the words ‘teenage pregnancy’ are spoken it is the female that comes to mind. In this write up, we at I AM L.I.P include teenage males because very often they can be forgotten.
Teenage pregnancy can also be referred to as adolescent pregnancy.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER INFORMS YOU THAT SHE IS PREGNANT?
If you are happy that your teenage daughter is pregnant, then we at I AM L.I.P wish you and your family well.
However, for most parents it can be very shocking to learn that their teenage daughter is pregnant. Upon hearing the news you may be left upset, hurt, disappointed, scared and worried about the future. Lots of questions will start circling in your head. This is okay so please do not beat yourself up. Follow the steps below.
1. Go hug your daughter and show her some love – Please remember prior to informing you that she is pregnant, your daughter will have spent days terrified with the thought that she would have to face you. She will also have been worried about her future and traumatised herself. Therefore, before dealing with your own reaction please give her a hug and reassure her that together she will get through this and that you are with her.
Your reaction can either calm her down and keep the situation in hand. In the end if your daughter decides to go through with the pregnancy your support will carry her through all the emotions, health concerns and physical changes that she will face.
2. Give yourself a moment to gather yourself – As soon as you are alone or alone with your partner (without your daughter present on the premises) let your emotions out. You will have thousands of thoughts and questions racing around in your head. Be easy on yourself, don’t blame yourself and start thinking you could have been a better parent and start preparing yourself mentally to handle the situation with kindness, care and dignity.
If you feel you need to talk to a confidant so you can make sense of your feelings please do so.
3. Confirm the pregnancy – Ask your daughter whether she is sure she is pregnant and what tests she has done. Our suggestion is that you do another pregnancy test and confirm what she is saying.
4. Do not tell others. For now keep it in the family – This is not the time to start telling people what has happened. Right now you do not want anyone belittling your daughter, saying unkind things or ostracising her. It is best to make decisions as a family first, unite as a group, support each other and then as a team inform the world if your daughter is going through with the pregnancy.
If your daughter decides not to go through with the pregnancy then there is no need to inform anyone.
5. Ask your daughter the following questions to ascertain hers and the fathers feelings –
- Ask your daughter whether she has any thoughts about what she wants to do? Does she want to go through with the pregnancy?
- Ask your daughter who the father is?
- Who is he, what does he do and how old is he?
- Does he know about the pregnancy and if he does, what does he want to do? Does he want your daughter to go through with the pregnancy or not?
- Does he want to help and support your daughter?
- Can you speak to him or his parents?
- Has your daughter spoken with the father and are they both in agreement with the choices they are making to move forward?
- Does your daughter’s health support a pregnancy?
There are only 3 situations that can be ascertained from the above questions and they are:
- Either your daughter (and the father if he is involved at this stage) wants to continue with the pregnancy.
- She/they want to terminate the pregnancy.
- She/they don’t know what to do.
Once your daughter (and the father if he is involved at this stage) have decided what the next step is then questions about the future need to be discussed. In fact if she/they have not made a decision perhaps the answers to these questions about the future may help her/them choose which direction to follow.
6. The next step – ascertaining answers to questions about the future – It is important to be prepared when you talk to your daughter about the future. Have some topics and questions written down on a piece of paper.
- Does your daughter want to continue with her education?
- How will she support the child financially?
- Will the father help financially?
- Who will provide childcare once the baby is born?
- Do both parents want to live together and if so can they afford it?
Please do not push your daughter into an unwanted marriage if she is legally old enough to get married.
WHAT RIGHTS DOES A FATHER HAVE IF HE HAS MADE SOMEONE PREGNANT?
Under UK law if your son has made a girl pregnant he will have no rights to any information about or is allowed to make any decision regarding the pregnancy. This includes the following:
- Stopping the pregnant girl from travelling to any part of the world
- Having or not having an abortion
- Attending the birth or being informed about the birth.
- Having a say in any form of medical care or treatment.
- Attending any appointments, scans, checks and antenatal care.
- Visiting the baby after birth
- Being told about or viewing any medical information.
When the baby is born the mother immediately has parental responsibility. Your son will only get parental responsibility if he is named on the birth certificate. If he does not get named on the birth certificate then he can get parental responsibility through the courts. Please click on the link below to find out how to do this.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHAT IS LEGAL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR TEENAGE SON INFORMS YOU THAT HE HAS GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT?
This write up is similar to the write up for ‘what do you do if your teenage daughter informs you that she is pregnant’ except it has been adapted and rewritten with regards to your son.
If you are happy that your teenage son has made someone pregnant and they are both happy about it then we at I AM L.I.P wish you and your family well.
However, for most parents it can be very shocking to learn that their teenage son has made someone pregnant. Upon hearing the news you may be left speechless, upset, hurt, traumatised, scared and worried about the future. Lots of questions will start circling in your head. This is okay so please do not beat yourself up. Follow the steps below.
7. Go hug your son and show him some love – Please remember prior to informing you that your son has made someone pregnant, he will have spent days scared with the thought that he would have to face you. He will also have been worried about his future and traumatised himself. Therefore, before dealing with your own reaction please give him a hug and reassure him that together he will get through this and that you are with him. He may need some encouragement and support to face up to the pregnancy and take responsibility.
Your reaction can either calm him down and keep the situation in hand.
8. Give yourself a moment to gather yourself – As soon as you are alone or alone with your partner (without your son present on the premises) let your emotions out. You will have thousands of thoughts and questions racing around in your head. Be easy on yourself, don’t blame yourself and start preparing yourself mentally to handle the situation with kindness, care and dignity.
9. Confirm the pregnancy – Ask your son whether he is sure the girl who he has made pregnant is actually pregnant and has she confirmed the pregnancy by taking tests. As you are the boy’s parents you must ask this question delicately without implying the girl could be making it up.
10. Do not tell others. For now keep it in the family – This is not the time to start telling people what has happened. Right now you do not want anyone belittling your son, saying unkind things or ostracising him. It is best to make decisions as a family first, unite as a group, support each other and then as a team inform the world if your son and the girl he has made pregnant are going through with the pregnancy.
If your son and the girl he has made pregnant decides not to go through with the pregnancy then there is no need to inform anyone.
11. Ask your son the following questions to ascertain his and the girl he has made pregnants feelings –
- Ask your son whether he has any thoughts about what he wants to do?
- Does he want the girl he has made pregnant to go through with the pregnancy?
- Does the girl herself want to go through with the pregnancy?
- If she does will he stand by and support her?
- If the girl doesn’t want to go through with the pregnancy will he support her with that decision?
- Ask your son who the girl is?
- Who is she, what does she do and how old is she?
- Can you speak to her or her parents?
- Has your son spoken with the girl he has made pregnant and are they both in agreement with the choices they are making to move forward?
- Does the girl he has made pregnants health support a pregnancy?
There are only 6 situations that can be ascertained from the above questions and they are:
- It may be that the girl your son got pregnant may not want to include your son in the decision to keep or not keep the pregnancy.
- On the other hand the girl your son got pregnant may want to include your son in the decision to keep or not keep the pregnancy.
- The girl your son got pregnant may want to go ahead with the pregnancy but your son does not want to be part of it.
- The girl your son got pregnant may not want to go ahead with the pregnancy but your son does.
- They both want to go ahead with the pregnancy.
- No decisions have been made.
As discussed above your son will have to go with the decisions made by the girl he got pregnant because by law the decision whether to go through or not go through with the pregnancy is solely hers.
The decision that is in your son’s hands is whether he will be part of the pregnancy and the baby’s life if she decides to go through with the pregnancy and she allows him to..
Once your son (and the girl he got pregnant) have decided what they want to do then the next step is to find answers to some questions about the future. In fact if he/they have not made a decision perhaps the answers to these questions about the future may help him/them to choose which direction to follow.
12. The next step – ascertaining answers to questions about the future – It is important to be prepared when you talk to your son about the future. Have some topics and questions written down on a piece of paper.
- How will your son support the child financially?
- Who will provide childcare once the baby is born?
- Do both your son and the girl he got pregnant want to live together and if so can they afford it?
Please do not push your son into an unwanted marriage if he is legally old enough to get married.
DOES YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER HAVE TO REVEAL THE NAME OF THE FATHER?
Legally your teenage daughter does not have to reveal the name of the father. She may do this to protect him especially if she is underage and he will get into trouble with the law. Social services, the medical profession and the police cannot force your daughter to reveal the name.
WORRIES ABOUT TEENAGE PREGNANCIES
Young teen pregnancies are considered high risk pregnancies because the girl’s body has not stopped growing and may not yet be fully developed.
The teen may find morning sickness and the changes in their bodies terrifying. Early medical care for a pregnant teen is very important and something a parent should oversee and be part of if they can. You can make sure your daughter attends all her appointments and checks ups.
Early, prompt and proper medical care can prevent or control stillbirth, preeclampsia, foetal death, anaemia, premature birth and low birth weight.
You can also help, guide and oversee your daughter’s lifestyle changes required for a healthy pregnancy. But please be careful not to take over and start forcing your daughter to change her habits. Slowly does it with loving explanations and reasons why changes need to be made.
Some lifestyle changes that you may have to encourage are:
- Lots of low impact exercises (swimming and walking).
- Avoidance of smoking or drinking.
- Eating a healthy well balanced diet (full of fruit, vegetables, meats, beans, milk, spinach, fortified cereals)
- Taking supplements (such as iron and folic acid)
- Resting regularly.
- Reducing intake of caffeine.
You can attend your daughter’s prenatal classes with her or encourage her to go to them and help her prepare for one of the biggest jobs of her life – parenthood.
WHO CAN BE PROSECUTED IF A FEMALE IS PREGNANT AND UNDER 16 YEARS OF AGE?
1. The female who is pregnant and under 16 years of age – It is highly unlikely that a girl under the age of 16 years who is pregnant will be prosecuted. Doctors, midwives, and social workers will support her with her pregnancy.
2. Parents of a girl who is pregnant and under 16 years of age – They could only be prosecuted if they were aware their child under 16 years of age was sexually active and encouraged it or did not try and stop it.
3. The male who has got a girl under 16 years of age pregnant and is himself under 18 years of age – If reported to the police they could get a caution or fine and may be listed on the sex offenders register for a year. However the younger the male the less likely this will happen.
4. A male who has got a girl under 16 years of age pregnant and is himself over 18 years of age – If reported to the police he will face a fine, prison and will be listed on the sex offenders register. The time this individual will be on the sex offenders register will depend upon the offence that has been committed and the sentence handed down by the court or if they received a caution.
HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT A YOUNG PARENT AND CHILD?
If your daughter and son have decided to go through with the pregnancy then it is important that you respect their decision and support them. There are many ways you can support your child’s pregnancy.
- Show love and care towards your child.
- Show your enthusiasm for the pregnancy
- Be positive and say positive things. Do not remind your child of what could have been.
- Be part of the pregnancy. Join in with the buying of baby clothes and the preparation for the baby’s arrival.
- If your child and their partner allow you to, perhaps you can attend some maternity and pregnancy appointments and check ups.
- Try to make friends and get along with your child’s partner’s family.
- Throw a baby shower and get everyone together to celebrate the new baby’s arrival.
- Be vigilant about the mental health of the young new to be parents. Reassure them when they need it and be strong for them when they need it.
- If you are able to support your child and your grandchild financially then please try and do so. However, depending upon your own circumstances this may or may not be possible.
- If you are able to keep a roof over your child and your grandchild’s head then please try and do so. However, depending upon your own circumstances this may or may not be possible.
HOW CAN YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY SUPPORT A TEENAGER MOTHER OR FATHER?
There is a lot of support provided by your local council. Please look on their website and then call them and talk to them. They will put you through to the correct department.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY
Your local authority can provide support for so many things including the following listed below:
Please note – each local authority is different; they may or may not offer one of the things mentioned below.
1. To help your child continue their education during and after pregnancy.
2. If your child has taken some time away from education then the local authority can help provide support for their return to education.
3. Your local authority can provide support for teenage mothers or fathers. An example of this can be vouchers to spend on infant formula, milk, and food. Some local authorities provide nutritional supplements.
4. Family nurse partnership support – Here a family nurse will visit a young pregnant mother under 19 years of age. This support will be provided from the start of the pregnancy until the baby is 2 years of age. Your child’s GP, school and local authority child services can refer your child to the family nurse partnership.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY NURSE PARTNERSHIP
5. The local authority may offer a young parents playgroup so your child and grandchild can meet other young parents.
LINK TO PUBLIC HEALTH ENGLAND WEBSITE FOR A FRAMEWORK FOR SUPPORTING MOTHERS AND YOUNG FATHERS
HOW CAN THE GOVERNMENT HELP A TEENAGE PARENT?
There are benefits and other things a teenage parent can claim. Please click on the links below.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR MATERNITY GRANT
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE FOR CALULATING WHAT BENEFITS YOU CAN CLAIM
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR GINGERBREAD FOR BENFITS FINDER FOR TEENAGE PARENTS
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR CHILD ACTION POVERTY GROUP FOR FINANCIAL HELP FOR YOUNG PARENTS
Local authorities often have lots of help available for teenage parents. Please click on the link below to find your local authority website.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE FOR FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY
HOW CAN THE NHS SUPPORT YOUR PREGNANT TEENAGER?
LINK TO NHS WEBSITE FOR TEENAGE PREGNANCY SUPPORT
LINK TO NHS WEBSITE FOR YOUR ANTENATAL CARE
HOW CAN YOU PREVENT YOUR TEENAGE CHILD GETTING PREGNANT OR GETTING SOMEONE PREGNANT?
1. Talk to your child from a young age that it is illegal to have sexual intercourse under the age of 16 years and that if they do they would be breaking the law.
2. Talk to your child about contraception. If you do, it doesn’t mean that you are encouraging them to have sex. You must emphasise that contraception prevents unwanted pregnancies and some forms of contraception prevent sexual diseases.
3. Have an open discussion with your children about teenage pregnancy and talk about how tough it can be to have a baby at a young age. Discuss how their body may not be developed to handle a pregnancy. They may have to give up education and possibly a career. Discuss the impact of a baby on a youngsters social life.
4. If you have a baby in the family or your friend has one, take your child and get them to help look after the baby to see what caring for a baby really entails. Get them to change the baby’s nappy. Tell your child this care for the baby will be 24/7 for the next 18 years.
CAN A TEEN MOTHER STOP THE TEEN BIOLOGICAL FATHER HAVING CONTACT WITH HER AND THE BABY?
Yes she can. She can share her concerns with a social worker from her local authority child services. If they believe the mother and child are at risk they will support and safeguard the mother and child from the father and put a child protection plan in place.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD PROTECTION PLAN
If local authority child services are concerned about the welfare of the baby and would like to remove the baby from the mother, a teen father can contact local authority child services and ask for them to place the child with him. He must show that he is the biological father.
LOCAL AUTHORITY CHILD SERVICES AND TEEN PREGNANCY
If the local authority child services are worried about the baby of a teen they can put a child protection plan in place to safeguard the new born.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD PROTECTION PLAN
WHAT IS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
Parental responsibility is a term used to describe the responsibilities, authority, duties, powers and legal rights a parent should fulfil for a child.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHAT IS LEGAL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
THE TEEN MOTHER AND PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
The law says the biological mother of a child gets automatic parental responsibility for a child from birth.
THE TEEN FATHER AND PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
Unlike the birth mother who gets automatic parental responsibility, the birth father has parental responsibility ONLY in the following circumstances:
- He registered the birth jointly with the birth mother and he is named on the child’s birth certificate as the child’s birth father.
- The birth mother has re-registered the child’s birth and added the biological father’s details but she has not married the biological father or entered into a civil relationship with him. The form used for this is form GRO 185.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM GRO 185
- He is named on the birth certificate issued after 01-12-2003 as the birth father but was not and is not married to the birth mother.
- He was legally married to the birth mother at the time of the birth of the child.
- He married the mother after the child was born.
- He has a court order which gives him parental responsibility.
- He has a formal parental responsibility agreement with the birth mother.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE WHO HAS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY.
CAN A TEEN BIOLOGICAL FATHER GET PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY THROUGH THE COURT IF THE MOTHER AGREES TO HIM HAVING PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
If a teen biological father (who is not married to the mother or named on the birth certificate) wants to get parental responsibility for a child and the mother agrees, they can apply to the court to witness a parental responsibility agreement. They will need to complete form C(PRA1) and send it to your local family court.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM C(PRA1)
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL FAMILY COURT
CAN A TEEN BIOLOGICAL FATHER GET PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY THROUGH THE COURT IF THE MOTHER DOES NOT AGREE TO HIM HAVING PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY?
If a teen father (who is not married to the mother or named on the birth certificate) wants to get parental responsibility for a child and the mother does not agree or they cannot agree on the arrangements, then he can apply to the court for a parental responsibility court order. He will need to complete form C1 and send it to his local family court.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM C1
TO SUMMARISE – HOW CAN A TEEN BIOLOGICAL FATHER GET PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY IF HE IS NOT NAMED ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE OR MARRIED TO THE MOTHER?
If a father is NOT named on the birth certificate of a child or married to the mother then he can acquire parental responsibility in the following ways:
1. If the child has been born after 01-12-2003, the mother and biological father can re-register the child’s birth but this time add the biological father’s name as long as she has not married the biological father or entered into a civil relationship with him. The form used for this is form GRO 185
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FOR GRO 185
2. The father can make an application to the family court to obtain guardianship of the child upon the death of the mother. The form the father can complete and submit to the family court is called Form C1.
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM C1
3. The father can make a parental responsibility agreement with the mother of the child. The form needed for this is Form C(PRA1).
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM C(PRA1)
4. The father can make an application to the court for a parental responsibility court order. The form he will need to submit is Form C1
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR FORM C1
5. The father can legally marry the mother of the child or enter into a civil relationship.
WHERE AS A PARENT CAN YOU TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
You can contact the following to talk and get support.
You can contact the NSPCC – You can contact the NSPCC and speak to them about your concerns that your child is pregnant or has got someone pregnant. If the child is in danger they will call the police.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR NSPCC – CONTACT US
You can contact FAMILY LIVES – Family lives was previously known as parentline. You can speak to them about your concerns that your child is pregnant or got someone pregnant.
LINK TO WEBSITE FOR FAMILY LIVES – CONTACT US
You can contact your local authority child services – You can call them directly or look on their website to see if there are any local support groups where you can get support.
LINK TO GOVERNMENT WEBSITE TO FIND YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY
You can contact other organisations –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE TO CONNECT WITH CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS THAT COULD HELP YOU.
You can read our help guide for where you can get help if your child is a victim –
LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR WHERE CAN YOU REACH OUT TO GET HELP IF YOUR CHILD IS A VICTIM
WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD TALK, GET HELP AND ADVICE?
Your child can contact CHILDLINE – If your child is pregnant or got someone pregnant and they need to talk to someone, they can call childline.