What You Can Include In Your Child Arrangements Agreement Agreed Between Yourselves Or Through Mediation

Whether you and your ex-partner are sorting out your child arrangements by yourselves or with the help of mediation, you both need some idea of what you need to sort out and include in your child arrangements agreement. 

Although every child arrangements agreement between a couple is specific and unique to their family, here on this webpage we will give you an overview of the type of things you and your ex-partner will need to discuss and come to some sort of agreement on.

Your child arrangements agreement will detail each parent’s practical responsibilities towards the children. This seems very clinical but in the long run it helps both parents to be clear on what is required of them, what their duties towards the children are, and to remind them what they have agreed to. 

Before you continue to read this webpage please find below the definition of some words and terms we will be using in this write up.

1. THE RESIDENT PARENT – A resident parent is the parent the child lives with for the majority of the time during the week. Another name for a resident parent is a custodial parent.
2. THE NON-RESIDENT PARENT – A non-resident parent is the parent that moves out of the family home and starts to live elsewhere. They do not live with the child. Another name for a non-resident parent is non-custodial parent or absent parent. 
3. THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD – This term means that whatever decision is made or agreed, it must be for the benefit of the child first and it must promote and take into consideration their well-being.

Some of the things that you and your ex-partner can include in your child arrangements agreement are:

1. Day-to-day living arrangements for the children – How will the children divide their weekdays between the resident and non-resident parents? 
2. Weekend arrangements for the children – How will the children divide their weekends between both parents. Could the children spend alternate weekends with each parent?
3. School runs, after school clubs and weekend classes – Which parent is responsible for the daily morning and evening school runs, for picking the children up from after school clubs and taking them to weekend classes and sports?
4. Parents evenings and school events – Which parent will attend parent evenings and which parent will attend school fairs and other events with the children?
5. Issues regarding schooling and fees – The schools the children are going to and will go to need to be written down and agreed. If these are private schools then it needs to be agreed upon how the school fees will be paid? 
6. Healthcare issues – If any of the children have any health issues, are taking medication, are having treatment or will have treatment, it will need to be agreed upon which parent will be in charge of this, how the duties will be shared and how the parents will update each other.
7. GP practice – It must be agreed at which GP practise the children will be registered.
8. The religion the child will follow – It must be agreed upon which religion the child will follow and what religious activities the child must undertake and with which parent. 
9. Maintenance payments – Paying for the child can be discussed and noted but this also could be detailed in a financial agreement. However, there should be some mention so that both parents are clear.
10. Surname – The surname the child will keep must be agreed upon and noted.
11. Holiday and half-term arrangements – How the children will split their holiday and half-term time between both parents will need to be agreed upon.  
12. Physical and emotional wellbeing of the children – How any physical and emotional issues the children have will be addressed and catered for will need to be agreed upon. 
13. Communicating with the children via phone and email – How and when will the non-resident parent keep in contact with the children when the children are with the resident parent? 
14. Special days of the year – Religious events (Christmas e.g.), Birthdays, Fathers Day, Mothers Day – Which parent will the children spend special days of the year with? How and when will the children be transported between both parents so they do not miss these special days? 
15. Grandparents on both sides and the wider family – It will need to be agreed upon which extended family members the children will meet, how often and when.
16. New partners – Both parents will need to agree upon how new partners will be introduced (if at all) and what  their role will be.
17. Passports and time abroad – It will have to be agreed upon which parent will keep hold of the children’s passports. It will also need to be agreed upon if the children are allowed to go abroad with either parent and other members of the family and if so where, how long for and when.
18. Manage behaviour and discipline – Both parents will need to agree upon how the children will be disciplined and what punishments can be administered.
19. Rules and boundaries – Bedtimes, length of time the children can watch TV, length of time on social media, if the children are allowed social media accounts and other rules can be discussed and noted.   

The more that is discussed and agreed, the better for both parents and the children. There will be less arguments and disagreements because both parents will have a clear understanding of what is expected of them.

Once you both have agreed on the child arrangements, you and your ex-partner must write down all your agreements and decisions onto a piece of paper called a draft consent agreement. 

If you have agreed on the child arrangements with the help of a mediator, they can write the draft consent agreement for you. Please ask the cost and decide if you can afford it. 

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR CHILD ARRANGEMENTS WITH MEDIATION HELP

If you have agreed on the child arrangements between yourselves (DIY), you can write it yourselves using our template for a draft consent agreement. Please click on the link below so you can be taken to the page where you will find our L.I.P draft consent agreement template. This will not cost a penny.

LINK TO OUR L.I.P HELP GUIDE FOR DRAFT CONSENT AGREEMENTS EXPLAINED (ALSO CALLED A DRAFT CONSENT ORDER OR AN INFORMAL AGREEMENT)